My Can Do Life Reinvention – Seriously!

Posted on April 30, 2017 by Cathi Coridan

Six weeks ago, if you told me about last Friday, I would never have believed you. Six weeks ago, I had a great job that I intended to retire from in five years and my life pattern was pretty well set. The staff and I had worked hard for 9 months using an intentional Can Do approach and had created a strong team model; and, we were really having fun doing it! I had just finished a report for the Board that highlighted how the team and I were meeting and exceeding our goals for the year, and what my five year goals were for the organization. Our program was at capacity. There was a leak in the roof, but that’s part of having an 86 year old building. Sure, there were challenges and differences in approach in some areas of my nonprofit leadership position, but challenges are inherent in any job – and, in my view, part of the cost of doing business in a model that is focused on change & growth.

Five weeks ago, my head was spinning. The President of the Board of Directors told me that the Board was seriously considering not renewing my contract at the end of June. Seriously?

Seriously?

The following Tuesday, I realized that the differences between us were much more fundamental than I had previously believed. Two days later, we met and I learned that they would not renew the contract. I, sadly agreed with the decision. Seriously.

So, I began to actively explore what I would do next. Since it was not my first time at this crossroad, I went to work immediately, reinventing myself as my hubby has since dubbed it.

Four weeks ago yesterday, I registered for the online 60 hour course that is required before taking the Virginia Real Estate Licensing Exam. Friday, I passed that exam. The testing company does not reveal the scores – I just know and am very grateful and relieved that I passed. Real Estate as a career is something I have toyed with for several years, and it is in my blood: both my parents were Realtors, as are my brother and one of my cousins. I am excited about the opportunities that lie ahead – the people I will meet and the special opportunity I will have to support them through the major life transition of buying or selling their home.

My friends have been telling me how impressed they are with what I accomplished: reinventing myself and passing the exam and (most of the time) keeping my Can Do attitude in play. I was blessed to be participating in a Lenten Retreat as these changes unfolded, and used that time and those spiritual resources to help me discern next steps. I was surrounded by a caring community of family and friends, and I am grateful beyond words for their strong support during this very difficult time.

As I recover from the stresses of preparing for and taking (and passing!!) the exam, I gotta tell you, I am VERY proud of myself and VERY impressed with my achievements in these four short weeks. Not only have I taken the course and passed the exam, but I have acquired and integrated the knowledge to begin an entirely new field of work.

Seriously.

And… and…. I am affiliating with an OUTSTANDING brokerage to launch my new career: Keller Williams in McLean. I chose KW because of the strong alignment with my Can Do Workplace model. Their mission is: CAREERS WORTH HAVING. BUSINESSES WORTH OWNING. LIVES WORTH LIVING. Their belief system reads like a chapter of the Can Do Workplace!

The people in the McLean office – from the Team Leader and Assistant Team Leader, to agents and brokers and the front desk staff – have been over the top supportive of me, welcoming and excited about not just what they can do for me, but also what strengths and potential I bring to their team.

Right now, my status is Coming Soon. In the two to three week lag while the application for my license is being processed in Richmond, I will work with them to get myself ready for a very different “next five years” than I had imagined just six weeks ago.

Seriously.

Imagine What You Can Do!

When You Win You Lose, and When You Lose You Win!!

Posted on August 7, 2015 by Cathi Coridan

Just after Valentine’s Day in the second semester of my freshman year in college, my boyfriend and I broke up and leaving me feeling a bit down. It just so happened that one of his fraternity brothers, Chico (AKA Michael Cherkesian) had just broken up with his girlfriend. So, Chico and I decided to meet once a week for a coffee at the Rathskeller in the Indiana University Student Union and there we formed the “Lovers and Losers Club.” Our motto was “when you win you lose, and when you lose you win!” We drank coffee, shared a fattening snack and became good friends – we are still in touch on Linked In! It was also the beginning of my learning a great life lesson about winning and losing.

It’s been a tough couple of weeks here in Can Do world! First, my sweet dog Chippy, my one and only office colleague, is no longer here, making my office a mighty lonely place. I also received word that I did not get either of the two jobs I had been a finalist for. One was a tougher blow than the other. I really wanted that job!

Three hits – Pow! Pow! Pow!

The result is that I have been more than a bit down the rabbit hole for the last few days. And, more than a bit at a loss for direction because I have been working with clients on a short-term project-based status for the last few months as my interviewing for these two positions played itself out. Then, this week it felt like, OOPS, now what? What is the Can Do Diva to do?

And, I felt SO sad. Dog grief is very real and really painful. When we lost Zoe, two and a half years ago, we still had Chippy. Now there are no furry family members here. It is a shock and a BIG adjustment after over 13 years. We will get a new doggie next February, after our vacation! In the meantime, I need to find a way to fill the huge lonely hole that used to be Chippy, sleeping on my ottoman, snuggled against my bare feet.

In the 2009 acclaimed movie, Up In The Air, George Clooney as lay-off expert Ryan Bingham, tells the man he is giving the pink slip to, “Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now. And it’s *because* they sat there that they were able to do it.” …that in dealing with change and adversity, one is actually preparing for greatness. Cold comfort, yet filled with wisdom!

Before I could get around to changing the world, I needed to get out of the hole! So, I took today off – just played HOOKY!

This morning I watched the final episode of the Jon Stewart Show that I had DVR’d last night. Then I went to the library and just wandered around for a while. When I left there, I drove down to Belle Haven Park by the Potomac River. Today is a cloudy and cool day – a delightful break from the 90s and horrible humidity of the last few weeks. I sat at a picnic table with my notebook and started to think about, and organize my ideas about, “Now What?”

I was not ready to do anything today. I just sat and wrote and brainstormed. Then I sorted and organized my ideas so I can remember them (!) and find them later. My plan is to leave them alone, in the notebook, to simmer until Monday.

I left the river and I drove up to the mall and wandered through a couple of stores, grateful for the stimulation of colors and the collection of “stuff” that is Home Goods. Slowly, the rainbow of colors and textures brought some creative juices back into my tired brain and it started to wake up. My final hooky event was to get a big bowl of triple chocolate and salted caramel frozen yogurt and smother it in chocolate sauce! YUMMY! That is when I remembered, with a big smile, Chico’s and my afternoon snacks at our meetings of the Lovers and Losers Club so very many years ago.

I felt a bit like Rip Van Winkle, emerging from a deep sleep, pulling myself back into my skin – my world – my reality. The situation has not changed: the dog is still gone and those jobs will not be mine! But I was able to regain my perspective. And, I realize that being me, here, today it is pretty wonderful. I have many awesome friends, colleagues and family members, and so very much to be grateful for.

As I end this mellow day, I know that even without Chippy, or either of those jobs, I can still change the world. And I will, starting Monday!

Care to join me?!

2013 – A Year In Between

Posted on December 31, 2013 by Cathi Coridan

What a year it has been!

It started with great hope and anticipation as I completed my chemo on January 5th. I was totally unprepared for how lousy I felt all of January and February… it was the cumulative effects of six months of chemo, but it flattened my fantasy of chemo’s end and new life’s beginning. You know what they say about assumptions…

All frustration faded in early March when Ned and I went on an awesome, wonderful 10 day cruise in the Caribbean. With earbuds channeling my favorite tunes, I walked around and around the deck soaking the healing light of the sun’s rays into my blood. Josh Groban, Susan Boyle, Peter Paul and Mary, Mozart, Beethoven, Simon and Garfunkel, Billy Joel, Andrea Bocelli, Mary Chapin Carpenter serenaded my blood and my brain back to health. The scenery was breathtaking – the Caribbean’s forty shades of blue easily match Ireland’s forty shades of green. I took hundreds of pictures on St. Kitts, St. Maarten, Antigua and Tortola – not so much in Martinique, with the beautiful name and so-so scenery. I had read an article about the healing powers of swimming in salt water, so we went to two beaches so I could swim and bob about in the clear blue water. We met and made new friends from California and Scotland. It gets the rating of BEST CRUISE EVER!

Reality returned quickly – the furnace died and so did my work computer… followed by a leak in the water line. Net: over $12K in under 90 days. So much for getting ahead! SIGH!

By late April I was feeling great and began to look for full time work. “Writing grants” is great, and I am very good at it. But, now that I was feeling good, I was getting a little bit bored. Working alone from home, while a comfort when I felt lousy, was making me stir-crazy. I spent some time pulling my thoughts about what was most important to me in my work and life, and developed an advocacy focus and business blog, but it was still not ticking all of my boxes. I applied for several senior development and CEO positions; a couple of them had interesting back stories, too! Most were for nonprofits with strong child-focused missions; one was not! Then I realized, I enjoy my contractor/consultant role and am fortunate and grateful create my own business – and it has the potential to grow and change with time. I don’t have to stay at home and be bored – that is a state of mind that is easily changed as I make plans to get out and meet new people and research what I want my business to become. As I write this, the challenges and stresses of the work-a-day fade, and I realize how blessed I am to have good clients, interesting work and a whole world of opportunity ahead of me. I pause to let it sink in – and smile!

Through the summer and fall I wrote and edited, and re-edited!, and then finally published The Can Do Chronicles, my little e-book that narrates the journey of the last four years. The launch on October 4th was a frenzy of making sure the book got loaded correctly and on time onto the amazon.com site, marketing e-mails to friends and colleagues and just about everyone I had ever met, constant updating of the book’s very own Facebook page, and writing for the Can Do Blog, the book’s very own blog! I had an awesome radio interview in the WOO (Worcester, MA) on Sunday the 20th, and pages of ideas for marketing. I started to believe I really was an author!

As a bizarre twist in a parallel universe to the story I tell in the book, on October 21st, Ned called to tell me that his job had been eliminated. Fortunately, this time I am healthy and working full time, so we are not staring over the cliff into the black abyss like we were on June 18, 2010 when he called with similar news. But, it has been a frustrating and challenging way to end the year. My attention immediately shifted from spending 6-10 hours a week marketing the book and developing the Can Do side of my business and life, to totally focusing on managing my stress level, getting my work done and staying healthy. As a contractor, I have no “paid time off,” and, while I am healthy again, I literally cannot afford a cold or the flu. Ned’s attention is fully focused on getting a new job… his qualifications are fabulous, but his age is a challenge in the current job market.

Both of us continue to count our blessings. Can Do remains at our core. We discovered (again!) that Can Do is not always shiny and bright. Sometimes, Can Do is about keeping on keeping on, even when you want to be doing ANYTHING else but what you are doing – for me, writing one more grant proposal instead of taking a day off; for Ned, not working! I have not written as many blogs as I had hoped, nor have I updated the book in preparation for hard copy publication. I.have.not.had.the.energy. But it is okay! Every single day, I have done the best I could with what I have. And, I have kept my smile – well, most of the time!

While frustrated in some minutes (or hours – or days!), we are not discouraged! We thank God we have each other and our friends and family that are so close and caring on this interesting journey of life. Our life is simpler – when the debit card says stop, we do! Our Christmas gifts were modest. Our celebrations now center on spaghetti or chicken at our dining room table or at a friend’s table – not routine dinners out at nice restaurants. And, going to a nice restaurant is a bigger treat and more appreciated! As the t-shirts say: Life is Good!

When I woke up this morning, I knew I was ready to do some of “my writing” again as a way to reflect and renew and prepare for the days ahead. I close 2013 with both a smile and a song in my heart. I am ready for 2014 and its journey of joys and challenges and new vistas.

God Bless Us Everyone!

Over the Shock and Hard at Work!

Posted on November 3, 2013 by Cathi Coridan

It has been almost two weeks since my husband, Ned, was told his job was eliminated. That first week was a rough one… worse for him than for me, but still, no fun for me at all. I was frustrated and unsettled for a whole host of reasons: after several years of financial uncertainty, I had started to make plans – for a vacation with friends next fall, to pay off some bills and purchase a new chair for my office. I was working hard on the next round of marketing for The Can Do Chronicles, and seriously considering publishing it in hard copy. But first I wanted to take a few days off because I had been working so many hours for weeks, between projects for my clients and the launch of the book! POOF – all of those things disappeared in an instant! Mostly, I just felt so badly for Ned that this had happened to him AGAIN. That he was not treated fairly or well when he had been so loyal to his employer. And, that his reality for the next months will be the ups and downs of looking for a job. YUCK!

At the end of last week, I was feeling more than a little depressed – those pesky black clouds started crowding in, and I could not blow them away. I know that “living the CAN DO life” does not make it a walk in the park to get through life’s crises, but it does give me tools. So, on Sunday afternoon I intentionally asked the first CAN DO Question: What Can I Do? I made lists of things I want to get done before Christmas, cleaned my office, went to the Home Goods store opening in my area and entered to win a $1,000 shopping spree (which, sadly, I did not win!), called some friends and got out of my own way.

And, I am happy to report the CAN DO strategy worked. I got past feeling shaky and blue, and I feel solid and whole again. With a clearer head, I was able to figure out my plan for what I CAN DO to support Ned and myself through the next few months. The first and most important, with only my income, I need to stay in great mental and physical shape so that I can do my work well, without feeling pushed, anxious or pressured. I remind myself that I only started working full time again in July and I need to be careful not to get run down and/or sick. So, I will keep going to aerobics two or three times a week – it feels so good (when I stop!) and I know how much stronger I am since I started in July.

And, I will have to put some of the plans for marketing The Can Do Chronicles on hold -not an easy decision to be sure. I will continue write in this blog at least twice a week and have a couple of holiday shopping specials that I will advertise on Facebook and Linked In, but I will not be able to invest the energy to write the magazine article and guest blog posts or push for media attention that was in the plan, and the hard copy of the book will be delayed. I will do those things next year – and, anyway, look how much more “CAN DO” experience I am getting in the meantime.

The shutdown brings back memories – and a message of hope!

Posted on October 5, 2013 by Cathi Coridan

Because I live in the Washington, DC area, the news of the current government shutdown is everywhere I go. While the shutdown does not impact my family directly, the stories that I hear on line, on the news, in conversations with neighbors, colleagues and in the grocery store aisles remind me of how I felt three years ago last summer when my husband’s job was eliminated two weeks before my (planned) last day of work. We went from having two upper management incomes to NOTHING. Zip, zap, zero!

O.M.G. The uncertainties associated with not having income can quickly become overwhelming. I had plans for starting my grant writing business, but no clients! There were moments of doubting my decision to quit my job, even though I had done so for very good reasons. There were doubts about how the mortgage will get paid on time and we became hyper aware of the cost of gas and groceries. We even had a garage sale to bring in some extra cash.

Over those next weeks, whenever one of us got discouraged or anxious, we reminded the other that we did not have any other option but to keep moving forward and doing the next right thing. There was no time for negative; no time for whining; no time for feeling sorry for ourselves. It was in those weeks in the summer of 2010 that I began to take seriously the need to find and keep an attitude of gratitude at the core of my life.

June 2010 was the starting point of my CAN DO world view. I was determined to work with what I had, and not concern myself with what I did not have at the time – like a big savings account or a trust fund! I started to ask simple questions as I made each decision: WHAT CAN I DO? If that won’t work, WHAT ELSE CAN I DO? When I stayed focused on the possible, I was able to move forward, away from my fears and into action.

Ned and I worked hard during that difficult time to keep our focus on the positive, stay connected with our friends and family for support; and we reminded ourselves every day how grateful we were for what we had. Within weeks, Ned negotiated a part time transition plan with his former employer and found some part time contract work that, in time, led to a full time job. With determined actions, my “plan” to start a grant writing business quickly became a reality. This was not the end of the story in terms of the struggles – but it set us on a CAN DO course that guided and sustained us through some more very challenging times. A CAN DO course that changed our lives.

This weekend as I launch my new e-book, The CAN DO Chronicles, I think of the thousands of families in my community who are struggling with many of those same challenges, fears and uncertainties in the wake of the shutdown. Part of why I wrote the book was to help people get through tough times like these. My prayer for them is that they not lose faith, and that during this difficult time they can find within themselves the start of a Can Do world view and approach to life.

A CAN DO life is not an easy life, but it is easier than living in doubt and fear.

Why I Wrote The Book…

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Cathi Coridan

The CAN DO Chronicles narrates my journey through some significant life challenges and describes the transformation of a person with a semi-permanent chip on my shoulder to a life grounded in hope and gratitude. The last three years have been tough ones for me and my husband Ned, with an array of hiccups, challenges and “opportunities for growth” – ranging from job losses to a 400 mile move to hip surgery – then, from six months of chemo to my wonderful new life. During the months of ups and downs, I made a commitment to myself, Ned, my family and to God that my approach and attitude would be as completely CAN DO as possible. I crafted three simple “CAN DO Questions” that have guided my decision making, and helped me take the “but” out of “yes, but” the majority of the time. Several new, healthier habits help keep it that way. My new approach to life intentionally focuses on both possibilities and gratitude. CAN DO has taken on a life of its own and become far too important to me to risk losing it.

In deciding to write this e-book, I realized that The CAN DO Chronicles is about much more than my story. Every day I hear or read about individuals, couples and families whose lives have been turned upside down by cancer or some other disease, job loss and unemployment, foreclosure, divorce and other problems. The Great Recession has brought downsizing, outsourcing, layoffs and very slow job growth, with those lucky enough to have jobs repeatedly being told to “do more with less.” Important programs like Head Start have recently lost funding, reducing their capacity to make a difference for children and families in greatest need. Discussions I have with friends and colleagues in the helping professions often focus on the concern we share that the stresses of life are becoming more challenging, and people are feeling more stuck and less hopeful. We ask each other and ourselves, “What can I/we do to make a difference?”

In the midst of all the stresses and struggles of life, there are some individuals who possess and are able to keep a positive attitude and outlook in spite of it all, and who, by example, encourage and teach the rest of us to have hope and do the same. I know many people like that, and I search in the wider world to learn the stories of more so that I can share them on this blog. I admire them, and I want to continue to grow to become more like them. Writing this book, by definition, has required me to own CAN DO fully, deeply and without hesitation. I have. And, I believe that I am called to share my story.

I am a strong believer in the power of stories because they open us up to understanding life, its mystery and its lessons more dynamically. My hope is that people who read my story and learn about how I was able to knock that well-worn chip off my shoulder will make a connection and find inspiration to focus their lives on what they CAN DO. I want as many people as possible to discover the energy, joy and hope that an attitude of gratitude can bring in a world that is filled with struggles, fears and way too much CAN’T DO!

In my small way, I want to make a difference, and let others know that they can too. It’s what I CAN DO – and so can you! Together, we can build a CAN DO world.

The CAN DO Blog

A Place to Discover What You Can Do….

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