Monthly Archives: February 2015

5th secret of a Can Do Life revealed…

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We are all connected and part of something bigger…

Whether it is our family, our neighborhood, our school, our friends, our workplace, our faith community, our political party, our regiment or platoon in the military, our local service club, our sports teams… as humans, we all have a need for connection and want to belong to something greater than ourselves. The term “tribes” has come back into use to talk about groups people with whom we identify. Trekkies, Harry Potter lovers, Red Sox fans (not Yankee Fans), Ohio State fans (not Michigan fans), Nascar enthusiasts, the list goes on and on. I think it even includes people who want to live a more Can Do life.

In this age of technology and shutterstock_77317735“social media,” we have this ever expanding collection of “communication” technologies and tools that we use to connect: Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, LinkedIn, texting and the rest. The reason that they are so popular is that they are designed to tap into our need to be connected. Stay in touch. Be in relationship. It Group of Business People with Social Media Conceptcan be argued, and it is, that these devices and the communication they deliver are not enough and cannot satisfy us. When they are used to enhance relationships, they work well. They, however, cannot take the place of relationships. I want Siri to help me get to the restaurant for my dinner engagement, but I do not want her to go out to dinner with me as my companion!!

I believe that Can Do needs to be shared in order to grow. As I observe in The Can Do Chronicles, “CAN DO is always lived in relationship – with self, with God and with others.” Can Do is strengths-based – grounded in saying YES! to life, and to each other. If my life is about “yes” and possibilities, it is also about the quality of how I connect with other people.  And, for me personally, it also relies on and reflects the quality of how I connect with my God. When I don’t stay connected, I tend to get too far into my own head and get in my own way, making it much easier for me to lose my Can Do focus on life in general.

My most dearly held belief is that the most important connection we have is to our kids – all shutterstock_60308743of our kids – and the legacy we leave behind for them. When we say we are so concerned about bullying as an issue impacting our children, I think we should start by looking in the mirror and being more aware of how we, the adults, are treating each other.  In the media and politics with headlines that accuse and sound bites that bite! And ask ourselves, “what is that teaching our kids?” Some people talk about the debt and environment that we are leaving our children. I am concerned about those, things too. But, when I see a world increasingly filled with negatives, blaming, “gotchya games,” finger pointing that is polarizing and rude, I am also concerned about the toxic messages we give, and what we are showing our kids about how people treat each other and how to make decisions.

We are all connected and part of something bigger…

shutterstock_61817020I believe we can do better. I want to be a voice that reminds us that we are connected at our core and more alike than we are different… and, of the good we are capable of and the dreams that we need to reach and teach our kids to reach.

I believe we can do better, for our kids’ sakes, because they need you and me, not football players, movie and rock stars – to be their heroes and role models! They need and want to be connected with us – and be part of something bigger.

What connections are important in your life? Want some ideas of how you can you make those connections more Can Do? There are lots of Can Do resources available, such as:

  • Have you read The Can Do Chronicles?  It is a great resource and reminder about what is important in life, if I don’t say so myself!  And it is on sale on amazon! Check it out by clicking here!
  • The Can Do Dialogues, my series of podcasts with stories of amazing everyday heroes is available by clicking here.
  • Also, there is a new online workshop, Live YOUR Can Do Life that launches on March 13th.  Check that out by clicking here!

See you next week with the Sixth Secret!

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The 4th Secret of a Can Do Life is…

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MAKE AND TAKE TIME FOR REFLECTION

For me, it is the hardest one of them all. I have places to go and people to see and things to do and deadlines to keep. When I was 11, I played Alice in the local library production of441926-Cartoon-Businesswoman-Running-With-Late-Files Alice in Wonderland. The only line I remember is, “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say ‘Hello,’ goodbye. I’m late!  I’m late! I’m late!”  Even when I am on time, I always feel like I am behind – late, late, late!

Waiting is agony for me, especially if I don’t have my phone or a book or my computer to keep me company. When I am on a webinar or conference call, I check my email and Facebook during the “in between” times. In between when I am paying attention, that is.  Sometimes, I feel like I have lost my ability and patience to be still. To be at rest. Quietly reflecting.

What is that all about, anyway? When I write it down, it sound absurd! It would be like only driving my car at 70 MPH. That pace of life gives adrenaline way too much power. And, it leads to burning out. I know. I burned out once, and I promised myself I would never go back there. I can still get to the “sort of crispy” point, then have learned to pull myself back in. Hey, at least now I stop for yellow lights!!

Since my chemo days, I have tried harder to make and take time for reflection. Tried. Ash wednesdayHave not always succeed, even though it is one of the Secrets, and therefore pretty important to me!  So, I set a goal that actually gets kicked off today. Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Christian season of Lent. I signed up for a retreat program through my church, based on St. Ignatius’ Spiritual Exercises, and as part of the retreat have committed myself to 40 minutes of prayer and meditation every day between today and Easter. I am excited to find out what I will discover.

Reflection. For me that means prayer and meditation as ways of connecting and communicating with my God, my Creator, my friend, and the places inside myself where that connection is strongest. To listen, to be curious. To share my dreams. To deepen my commitment to achieving those dreams.

For others, this reflection time might involved art or music, dance or nature.

shutterstock_121922443My reflection time allows me to focus on my dreams. Talk to God. Talk to myself about the why and the how, leaving the when and where to a later time. Reflection time allows my body and brain to decompress and rest. Expands my thoughts and lets my creative juices take the place of all that deadline-driven adrenaline. Balances the different parts of me – the inside with the outside. Reflection unlocks my heart to let it be heard… and to it be fed.

Some people think that refection or meditation or prayer is boring. For as much of an IMG_20140705_220935633adrenaline junkie as I can be, I really love becoming lost in the flames of a fire or the sounds of the ocean. Watching the changing colors of a beautiful sunset – or sunrise. Letting my senses stretch and hear, see, smell, taste and feel a littleMBH picture for blog more of what is going on on the inside and the outside. Inviting my soul to connect with my brain and my feet and my calendar and the rest of my life. Listen, listen, listen and learn.

No matter what your faith tradition, today is a good day to commit to making and taking time for reflection. Start with a big enough, while still manageable, goal. Build the time gradually. If reading, audio or video materials help, between Google and the library, you can find just about anything you need for free: find blogs and YouTube videos, poetry books, art books and classical music.The last section of the Can Do Chronicles has an area with quotes and prompts for meditation.

shutterstock_129151931I recommend that you keep a journal with the insights and ideas that come to you as you meditate, so that these gems do not get lost in the busy-ness of the rest of your life.

My prayers go with you on your journey….

 

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Curious About the Third Secret? WOW…That’s Inspired!

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The third secret of a Can Do Life is to be inspired and have a sense of curiosity!

The day-to-day, minute-to-minute, meeting-to-meeting-ness of life leave us surrounded by stress and mired in minutiae. Traffic. Technology. Kids’ sports schedules. Work deadlines. They seem to conspire to suck our brains, hearts and souls dry!

Enter the third secret!  Be inspired & have a sense of curiosity. Don’t stay stuck! Take time to look away from, under or behind all of the “stuff” and “ness” of life to get back to the meat of life’s meaning.

Inspired ([in-spahyuh rd]) adjective: meaning aroused, animated, or imbued with the spirit to do something, by or as if by supernatural or divine influence

Be inspired.  Do you have a favorite song, poem, piece of art, photo, prayer, essay or book that lights up your heart?  How often do you “visit” the things that provide inspiration? I have two songs: the four Jean Valjean’s singing “Bring Him Home“ at the Les Miz 25th Anniversary concert and Peter peter-paul-and-mary-holiday-concertPaul and Mary singing “Light One Candle” at their Christmas Concert from years ago. These songs fill my heart with hope and love. Both songs’ You Tube videos are bookmarked so I can jump right to them when I need a little inspiration – Light One Candle is just a little under 4 minutes long and a great investment in keeping my light from going out!  How and where can you put and keep a little piece of personal inspiration close at hand?

People also inspire me. In the Can Do Chronicles, I wrote about several people in my life who are everyday heroes that inspire me. I talk about Lorna, Steve and Julie, and how their lives and our relationships help keep me focused on what is important. I add to that list on a regular basis. Recently, I find that the people I am interviewing for the case stories about Can Do Workplaces for my new book really inspire me: Michelle, Karen, Frankie and Sandy; Michael and Evelind; and Errol, Jenna and Michael. Their commitment to and respect for the people they serve draws me into their stories and inspires me to share them with the world!  Who in your life inspires you?

curious (kyo͝orēəs) adjective:  meaning eager to know or learn something.

Have a sense of curiosity!  Ever been around a 3 year old who is filled with questions shutterstock_1296518and the energy to explore his or her world with unbridled curiosity?  You can almost feel those brain cells lighting up, expanding and connecting, driving that child to search even harder, explore even more!

shutterstock_116496178 (2)Where does all that curiosity go?  Somehow, as adults, it seems to get replaced with a different kind of drive – an urgency to get someplace and do something and a frustration if it takes more time that we think it should!  Life is so much bigger than our little worlds, and there is so much to explore!  When was the last time you took the “scenic route” just to find out what was there? Or asked someone why they like their work, home, car or hobby to learn more about their interests?

95f33/huch/1413/hl0152Michael Gelb is the author of several books on creativity and innovation, my favorite of which is How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci: Seven Steps to Genius Every Day. In what he calls “the self-help book that Leonardo never wrote,” Michael presents seven principles, the first of which is

Curiosita: an insatiably curious approach to life and an unrelenting quest for continuous learning. 

Michael believes that “curiosita – the quest for continuous learning – comes first because the desire to know, to learn, and to grow is the powerhouse of knowledge, wisdom and discovery.” In the How To Think Like Leonardo Workbook, Michael challenges us to make a list of 100 important questions. Most of us get stuck at around 8 or 9 questions. I challenge you to make a list of 10 to 20 questions, and then to go out and explore, satisfy a little bit of your curiosity looking for the answers!

Thinking Woman Making Decision And Have An Idea. She Looking UpThe cool thing about curiosity is that the more things you do to try to satisfy it, the more it grows!  Questions beget questions.

If one of the things you are curious about is how to get and keep more “Can Do” in your life, then I suggest subscribing to the blog via email on the main Can Do Blog page. That way, you don’t have to go looking for new posts!  They will come to you every Wednesday!

Have a great week until next Wednesday when I reveal the 4th Secret of a Can Do Life!

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The Second Secret of a Can Do Life Is…

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…to be and stay goal driven.

Can you name your life’s goals as easily as you can name your favorite foods or your favorite vacation destinations?  Do you set goals, yet never seem to make enough progress toward accomplishing them?  Are your dreams real for you, or just something you use to think about as an escape from your current situation?

Goals are dreams with deadlines - motivational phrase on a vintaThere are so many things that I could say about goals, their connections to dreams and the power that they have to change your life, much more than this little blog post can hold. The message I want to communicate here is about the importance of having and working toward your goals, and making sure your goals are connected to your life’s dreams.

Why is being and staying goal driven the second secret?  Because our goals based on our dreams give our lives meaning… and they give us hope when life gets hard and messy. Our goals can provide us with the motivation to overcome life’s challenges that come between us and our dreams.

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Setting meaningful goals requires us to be able to define and describe our dreams. It is never too late!  Age does not matter. In fact, I would argue that as we get older, it is just as important to us, and to the world, that we work to know, aspire to and reach our dreams.

What are your dreams? I encourage you to take some time in the next few days to think about those dreams. Mine dream has been to be a writer… to use my words, images and stories to motivate and inspire people to reach their potential.  I am in this moment, quite literally, living my dream!  And, it is AWESOME!

Our goals provide the road map on our journey toward those dreams. Newton’s first law of motion is: a body in motion tends to stay in motion; a body at rest tends to stay at rest. Coridan’s Corollary is that a life in motion tends to stay in motion… We need to be and stay goal driven to keep our lives moving in the direction that meets our needs and keeps us healthy. Otherwise inertia creeps in, and we know that a life at rest does not achieve its dreams!

Not all goals are the same. For one thing, they come in sizes. There are big goals, like buying a house, getting a degree, raising a family, retiring to a warmer climate… and then there are the smaller goals that lead us to the big ones, like saving money, enrolling in a class, meeting someone special with whom you would consider raising a family, and again, saving money. Breaking things down into a smaller, more manageable size makes the goals easier to achieve.

America Football field with ballI like to think of the need to set smaller goals as the “rule of the first downs.”  I am a big Ohio State Buckeye Football fan. I know that this dream that we just realized of becoming the National Champions did not all happen with big plays and dumb luck. The team focused (in part) on working together on basics, on getting first downs and building the momentum and the rhythm to be ready when they have a chance – and THEN they made the big plays. When I watch football, I sometimes yell at the TV to remind the Buckeyes, or the NY Football Giants, that when they have the football, they don’t have to do any more than get that next first down unless the opportunity is really solid for the big play. First downs create scoring opportunities and build momentum. First downs win games.

Do you want to become more goal driven?

Set Goals Hand Red MarkerTo help get you started, I have several questions: What are your big goals?  The ones that you focus on for a year or two at a time?  How are they connected to your dreams?

Then, what are your smaller goals, the ones that form the steps on the way to your bigger goals?

Where are you starting?  If your big goal is to run a marathon next year and you have not worked out in five years, I hope you will create a different plan than if you have been running 5Ks and are ready to step it up!

Start by writing your goals down today!  Work with them, revise them, talk them over with your family and friends. Start small and build – daily, weekly and monthly goals function to help keep things manageable. Losing 5 pounds usually comes before losing 10; running a mile comes before winning a marathon! Writing your goals down lets you put big red check marks next to them when you are finished – and I find that checking off completed goals is a great way to build and maintain momentum.

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Be and stay goal driven… it’s not such a big secret, is it?  But, it holds the key to achieving your dreams!  Goal setting unleashes the power of Can Do to help you become the person you were meant to be!