The Can Do Chronicles, Ferguson, MO & Thanksgiving

coverFor the last month, my life has been fully focused on the publication of my little book, The Can Do Chronicles as a paperback, moving it off the cyber-shelves of e-book status and “getting it out there.” I am in the final stages of developing workshops and workbooks designed to help people make “Can Do” decisions and say YES! to life every day. I have two white boards and two calendars filled with notes, deadlines and outlines for the mid-December launch. The To Do list has several items that are marked URGENT and IMPORTANT that were intended for “first thing this morning.”

URGENT and IMPORTANT got pushed aside with the sad news of the violence and destruction overnight in Ferguson. I have postings on my Facebook page from good friends from many years who see the grand jury’s decision as an injustice and are angry at the disparities and afraid for their sons of color. My heart hurts for them. Above and below them are also numerous postings about Thanksgiving, ranging from political cartoons about who the real immigrants are, to recipes for the green bean casserole, to prayers to share, to petitions to keep the stores closed. My Facebook page is my life’s little melting pot – so much diversity coming at me in just one news feed.

I took a walk this morning to clear my head, say my prayers and enjoy the last warm morning for a while. It gave me time to reflect on the deeper meaning that Can Do has for me, how it relates to Michael Brown, Darren Wilson, the people of Ferguson and the hundreds of youth and families of color that I have known and worked with through the years. I thought in new ways about the potential and promise of my Can Do message that has motivated me write my books and blogs to focus on sharing and spreading Can Do. My reflection was on the systems we have and how they fail us, in many ways and on many levels.

How many lives will be changed, some ruined, by moments in our history like Ferguson? What and where are the Can Do Answers or Can Do Directions when the guidelines become less clear? What are the lessons learned from these moments to help us get better, not just more bitter? How much bigger will the divide get – the divide that gets filled with blame and anger, finger pointing and righteousness? Where is the Can Do of Ferguson, MO? There are no easy answer here.

As I try to make sense of it all a few days before Thanksgiving, I remember part of a November 2013 article from America Magazine that was reprinted in our parish bulletin this week.

Some reflections of the origins of Thanksgiving might help us to renew this wonderful, truly American “holy day.” In 1863, in the midst of the horrendous Civil War, Abraham Lincoln make Thanksgiving a national holiday, calling in his proclamation for “humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience.” He urged repentance, a turning back to God, as well as gratitude for God’s bounty.

During this week when Ferguson and Thanksgiving are juxtaposed, with such intense media focus on what divides us, I ask myself what CAN I DO to find more ways to bring people together? With so much focus on what is not there, how can I, and we, find new ways to shine the light on what resources are there, somewhere in the ashes, to build on and work with?

This Thanksgiving, I will pray for Michael Brown and his family, and for all the families impacted, including Darren Wilson and his family. And, for the members of the grand jury who had such a difficult task; and for the lawyers, the police and the lawmakers to have Wisdom guide their actions.

I have spent many of the over 40 years of my career working with hundreds of youth and families that others have given up on. What I know in my bones is that those kids are only doing what we, the adults, are teaching them to do. We are their touchstones, their guides and their hope. This Thanksgiving week, I pray especially hard for all of the young people of all colors who have given up. And, I will pray for our country’s adults to not stop looking for new and more ways to say YES! and to show our young people how to say YES! too.

What is it we CAN DO going forward that will make a difference? At the core of my CanGratitude Do world view is my complete conviction about the power of gratitude to transform lives and unite, rather than divide, people. In the words of Mr. Lincoln, let us claim Thanksgiving as a day for forgiveness, a turning back to God, as well as gratitude for God’s bounty – and that from that vantage point of grace, let’s each one of us find just one little YES! that can start to unite us. That is my prayer for us all this Thanksgiving.

Change & Growth, Meet Reality!

The words Hello My Name is Change on a green namtag sticker, symI am all about change. I believe in it, embrace it and plan for it. I spend my days talking, researching and writing about it.  It is at the core of Can Do Model of Change & Growth™.

For the last few months, I have been intensely focused on and working hard to make big changes in my consulting business. My goal is to shift from being a contractor back to being the CEO that runs a successful small business. The contracting approach served me quite well when I was sick. The entrepreneurial model makes much more sense now, for me and for my clients, present and future!

thumbnailAt the onset of this professional change process, I made a commitment to create a business plan, and to be very thoughtful and strategic about the consulting services to include because I want Coridan Consulting to be the model for The Can Do Workplace. I developed a very strong business plan with three well defined areas: Training, Writing and Interim Executive Services. I excel at and really enjoy all three areas. They fit me, and they fit together, so perfectly!

With the support of a great web designer (http://www.daedalcreations.com), I have developed a website (http://coridanconsulting.com) that captures the look and feel of me and my work. It still needs tweaking and some additional detail, but then again, don’t we all?!

cover.finalThe pieces for both of my books are coming together, slowly but surely. The corrections to the proof for the paperback edition of The Can Do Chronicles were submitted to the publisher yesterday. I am between 60% and 50% of the way through a solid first draft of the second book in the series, The Can Do Workplace. And yes, I did mean to put the percentages in that order.

At this moment, the most critical next step for me to be successful in my new business model is to GET OUT OF MY CAVE and do some guerrilla networking with people in the local nonprofit and small business communities. To my surprise, this vital next step has not been so easy for me.

Networking comes very naturally to me. I love meeting people and hearing their stories Group of business people assembling jigsaw puzzle and representand linking two or more people together to move projects and missions forward to help save the world. I have over 800 friends on Facebook, and know over 95% of them to recognize on the street and call by name!  I get the most enjoyment in the grant writing process when I make introductions and connect the people and organizations to pull a proposed project plan together. I am not just good at it, I am quite gifted at it!

A BIG SURPRISE: What I have come to realize very recently is that staying in my cave now comes very naturally to me. Who would have thought?  Not me!

Part of the reason for this change, I am sure, is my new commitment to my health, adopting a saner pace for my work and life.  As a grant writer for the last four years, this has meant staying put in my home office and focusing on the research, writing and deadlines. And, as I have been writing and recovering my health and stamina, my natural Introvert tendencies have re-emerged and grown stronger than ever, making the networking which I love, feel and seem a bit odd and awkward to me.

Also in play is my very real (and very normal!) apprehension about making another career change. When I started the grant writing four years ago, I did not have time or the luxury to let “what if’s” get in my way!  Both my husband and I were unemployed – my unemployment was planned; his was by crisis as his job got eliminated, which made mine into a crisis too. This time is different. In doing a great job of planning for this transition, I am experiencing what I call the “space between Can & Do”… the time between the plan and the outcome that so easily fills up with anxieties, second guesses and the distractions we call “life”. It is normal and I know it is normal, but it does not make the unsettled feelings any less unsettled.

shutterstock_92144632It is at this juncture, which can last a while, that Change & Growth Meet Reality. The reality is that change is hard, even for those of us who are its fans. And sometimes, the barriers we encounter are not in the places we expect.

My recommendations to myself for getting through this time successfully are to: 1) establish my priorities based on my goals; 2) focus on what I CAN DO to get to those goals and let the rest go; and 3) keep my priorities front and center, no matter what distractions and challenges come my way.

For me, this means that networking IS PRIORITY #1. In the last few days I have signed up to attend three networking events over the next two weeks. It’s a good start, and I need to remember that networking needs to REMAIN my PRIORITY and that these three networking events need to be replicated a dozen times during the next three months.

Change is a Good ThingChange is a good thing, but it is hard and often quite messy. In my quest to promote the Can Do Model of Change & Growth™ , and from my own recent experience, I want to conclude this blog by sharing some questions that I hope can help make change a good thing for you, too:

  1. What is the goal of the changes are you making in your life?
  2. How have you planned well and set the right priorities?  How and where “not so much?”
  3. How can you keep them as a PRIORITY when “life happens”?
  4. What are the barriers you have found that you were not expecting?
  5. What old fears are getting in your way?
  6. What CAN you DO to move beyond the barriers and fears? When will you do them? (Hint: sooner is better!)

Good luck.  Change & Growth may be hard and messy, but the results are worth it – and so are you!