It’s been a stressful couple of weeks with a cold and some unexpected changes with work. While I am sure that there have been more things going right than wrong, I was not feeling it!  It’s funny how just one disappointment and/or uncertainty can push the rest of the picture so far off center and occupy so much brain space.  Last night I was teetering on depression and tired of working so hard to keep it at bay.

It’s OSCAR month on the Turner Classic Movie Channel, so I have programmed the DVR to capture a few of my favorite movies.  Dr. Zhivago and Remains of the Day were recorded last week; yesterday, I recorded Goodbye Mr. Chips, the remake with Peter O’Toole (RIP) and Petula Clark.  When I went upstairs last night to read, I turned it on.  I did not want to watch the movie, really.  I just needed to know my “old friend” was near.

And then the song started playing.  I had forgotten that this special, wonderful song that has had so much meaning in my life would start playing.  And then, it was there with the boys singing it at the beginning of the film – as a comfort, friend and reminder of what I want my life to be about.

I shed a few tears, felt much more reconnected with myself and had a good night’s sleep. The sneezing and the work “stuff” is still here this morning, but not as powerfully.  And, like a true friend, the movie will sit in the DVR and wait for me to shall watch it when the federal proposal is finished and in.

A few minutes ago, I went to life’s shortcut, Youtube, and watched the scene where Petula Clark as Mrs. Chips has a beautifully awkward moment of genuine grace.  That’s me – a little out there sometimes, but with a heart that’s just trying so hard to be brave and strong and true. I am now someplace closer to sunset than to noontime, I know.  It does not get any easier with age – it just becomes more important.

Fill The World With Love
In the morning of my life I shall look to the sunrise.
At a moment in my life when the world is new.
And the blessing I shall ask is that God will grant me,
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through.

In the noontime of my life I shall look to the sunshine,
At a moment in my life when the sky is blue.
And the blessing I shall ask shall remain unchanging.
To be brave and strong and true,
And to fill the world with love my whole life through

In the evening of my life I shall look to the sunset,
At a moment in my life when the night is due.
And the question I shall ask only I can answer.
Was I brave and strong and true?
Did I fill the world with love my whole life through?

Chorus
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love
And to fill the world with love my whole life through

My friend Mary Byrne Hoffman took and posted this awesome picture about a year ago (and gave me permission to do likewise). I don’t remember if it is of sunrise or sunset, and that doesn’t really matter.  What matters is how I fill the time in between!